Though not often talked about, miscarriages are not a rare occurrence in America. Approximately one in ten to one in five pregnancies end in a miscarriage. Unfortunately, because miscarriages often take so place early in a pregnancy, there is a hesitancy on the part of the mother to know what to do or say.
Often, feelings of sadness or mourning can lead to guilt for the mother who doesn't understand how to come to terms with grief. That is why it is important for women who lose a baby to know how to find emotional support and help. Below are a couple of things to keep in mind that will help you find healing and emotional recovery after a miscarriage.
There Is No Normal
Society and internal pressures to conform tend to place emotional responses in preset boxes. Since a miscarriage is often left undiscussed, a woman experiencing it may not know how to respond "normally" to the event.
That is why it is important for women to know there is no "normal" except for what works best for them. That means if grief, including open displays of mourning and crying, is the mother's response to a miscarriage, then there is no shame in the way it is displayed or handled. However, the opposite also applies; there are situations where a pregnancy ends without much of an emotional response from the mother. That, too, is not a cause for guilt or self-blame. It simply is the internalized response that helps lead to healing.
As such, don't force yourself to feel or act a certain way if miscarriage affects you. Allow your own emotional compass to lead you, as you will find the most natural response to be the one that guides you toward a sense of peace and closure.
Find a Trusted Confidant
Since the discussion of miscarriage is often treated as taboo in American society, it can be hard to know how to talk about the event. Sometimes, even friends and family may have difficulty relating, or there may be a disconnect that makes talking about a miscarriage awkward.
That is why it is helpful for women who have experienced a miscarriage to find others who can relate and become truly trusted confidants. Contact a local mental health professional for help in referring you to a support group. In addition, you may be able to find assistance online in the form of a discussion forum or bulletin board. Search for the term "rainbow baby," and you will be surprised at how many other mothers have experienced the same loss.
For more help, contact a company that specializes in women's counseling, such as Associated Psychologists & Counselors.